The Other Side of the Wilderness

First of all, it’s been way too long since I’ve written a blog on here! I’ve sat down and started several since the last one I posted, but they are still unfinished on my computer. Whoops! I’ll try to do better with that.

Occasionally, I sit down and re-read some of my old journal entries I have written in the past. It helps remind me where I’ve been, the things God has spoken to me, and things I am hoping, believing, and praying for the future. Earlier this week I was looking at my journal entries for March of last year. What a difficult season in my life! The spring semester of my senior year of college was difficult, but the month of March was an exceptionally emotional and difficult time for me – so many uncertainties, so much hurt, so much confusion. I had some major life decisions to make, and I was having a very difficult time coming to terms with all the transitions that were about to take place in my life. However, in the midst of all of this tension in my life, God continued to pursue me, to meet me where I was at, and to remind me that He is faithful. One specific way He reached out to me was when He spoke to me through one of the girls in my Bible study. She shared Deuteronomy 8 with the group, and those verses were exactly what I needed to hear with everything going on in my life. My Father was assuring me that better days were ahead.

With that said, here is Deuteronomy 8:

 “Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. Like the nations the Lord destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the Lord your God."
 

My encounter with God during that Bible study reminded me that though my “wilderness” was extremely exhausting, scary, and stressful, there was a good land ahead that He was leading me to. 

Fast forward back to earlier this week. After I read my old journal entries, I began reading the daily Bible passages on our church's reading plan. As I was looking at the list of readings for the week, one day in particular jumped out to me: March 8: Deuteronomy 7-9. It may seem like something so small and miniscule to most people, but to me it is profound. It was like God was saying, “Hey, it’s been a year since your time in the wilderness. You’re in the good land now, the land I was always leading you towards. Don’t you see how I’ve provided every step of the way?” AMAZING! I am blown away by my Father’s love for me. 

So today, I just want to declare that the Lord is faithful. He alone led me out of that period of being in the wilderness and into a land that is good, where I lack nothing. He led me out of the wilderness and into a bountiful land full of the promises He has spoken to me. I could not be more grateful for that or more amazed by my Father’s love for me. His faithfulness is never-ending. Though I may grow weary in my time in the wilderness, He is there. He is leading. He is providing. He is sustaining. He is all I need. And he continues to remind me of that simple fact over and over again. He is all I need. Standing on the other side of the wilderness, I am reminded that the good land my Father continues to bring me to is far more beautiful and rich and fulfilling than any land I would have ever found on my own.

Three Simple Words

The three words that come to my mind when I think of this season of my life are dependence, faithfulness, provision. The dictionary defines those three words as follows:

Dependence (noun) 1. The state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like. 2. Reliance, confidence, trust. 

Faithful (adj.) 1. Steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant. 

Provision (noun) 1. The act of providing or supplying. 2. An arrangement or preparation made beforehand as to meet needs. 

Just a few short months ago I had so many important decisions to make about my future, one of them being graduate school. At the time, I applied to three different grad schools in three different parts of the country. I literally had no idea what or where I would be after I graduated. A large part of me wanted to return home because I had been away at school for so long and missed my family and friends. I missed my city. I missed my own room. I just missed home. Another part of me wanted to stay in Missouri with the greatest friends a girl could ever wish for. Who wouldn’t want to live life alongside her best friends for a couple more years? Needless to say, I was torn. My heart and head were in shambles. 

BUT… 

I was confident of one thing: God knew where I needed to be, and He would go with me wherever that was (Joshua 1:9) That was pretty much the only thing keeping me sane when I still had no clue where I would be the month before I graduated. 

Fast forward to now. I am blown away by my Father’s love, grace, faithfulness, and provision for me. When I first arrived home, I was really excited, yet really sad. I loved being home, but my heart was breaking because I had no idea when I would see my friends again. The first few weeks being home were rough, and I just did not feel like myself. While I was struggling with loneliness, God, being his faithful self, kept bringing people around me to remind me that I have the opportunity to build on friendships I have established at home and to create new ones. It was such an encouragement, and I am so thankful for those who came around me during the first few weeks and welcomed me home. God brought me to a state of complete and utter dependence on Him. He continued to show his provision and faithfulness when he provided me with a job opportunity a month after being home. I have been able to learn, grow, and save money for my future. Speaking of saving money for my future, I was able to get a grant for my first year of grad school that pays for my entire tuition. What a blessing! Like I said… so blown away by my Father’s faithfulness and provision.

I believe the biggest way God has provided for me and shown His faithfulness was by leading me to City Faith Church. I have never believed so much in the core beliefs of a church, felt so connected to the people within a church, or been so excited about the future of a church. The amount of growth that has occurred in my life in the past couple of months can be attributed in large part to the people that make up City Faith Church. They have continually challenged me to step out of my comfort zone and to love God and people on a different level. I am so grateful that I have the privilege of being surrounded by such company, and I look forward to every time we get to be together. I love my church! And I love that I get to be a part of God building it. It’s so fun to watch how He is providing not only for me, but for our church.

“My compassions never fail; they are new every morning. You can begin each day confidently, knowing that My vast reservoir of blessings is full – to the brim. This knowledge helps you wait for Me, entrusting your long-unanswered prayers into My care and keeping. I assure you that not one of your prayers has slipped past Me, unnoticed. I want you to drink deeply from My fountain of limitless Love and unfailing compassion. As you wait in My Presence, these divine nutrients are freely available. You may drink without cost from the spring of the water of Life. Although many of your prayers remain unanswered, you can trust in My great faithfulness. I keep all My promises in My perfect way and timing. Among other things, I have promised to give you Peace that displaces the trouble and fear in your heart. If you become weary of waiting for answers to your prayers, remember that I also wait: so that I may be gracious to you and have mercy on you. I wait until you are ready to receive the things I have lovingly prepared for you. Blessed are all those who wait for Me – expectantly, longingly, trustingly.” – Jesus Lives 

I don’t know about you, but I am sure glad I serve a God whose timing is perfect. If you’re reading this and going through a time of waiting, where you are unsure of what your future holds, just know that God is with you now and He will be with you wherever you go. Continue to be dependent on Him and see how He provides for you and remains faithful. You WILL look back down the road and be able to see His provision and faithfulness every step of the way. Your life might not be clear or make sense to you right now, but it will when “you are ready to receive the things He has lovingly prepared for you”. Find hope in that!

The Essence of Worry

I don't know about you, but I tend to worry sometimes about things in my life. Most of the time I worry about school, but there are other areas of my life that are plagued by worry as well. This week is midterms week, which is usually pretty stressful. Last week, I was WORRIED about how difficult this week was going to be because I had 2 papers due and 4 tests to take. However, this Sunday at Central, Pastor Jeff talked about Matthew 6 when Jesus is telling the people not to worry.

Matthew 6: 25-34 says:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The notes in my Bible say:

"Planning for tomorrow is time well spent; worrying about tomorrow is time wasted. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference. Careful planning is thinking ahead about goals, steps, and schedules, and trusting in God's guidance. When done well, planning can help alleviate worry. Worriers, by contrast, are consumed by fear and find it difficult to trust God. They let their plans interfere with their relationship with God. Don't let worries about tomorrow affect your relationship with God today."

Pastor Jeff also said on Sunday, "When worry leaves, faith intervenes." and "Fear and worry are contrary to faith."

His sermon on these verses washed peace over my soul and calmed me. Honestly, this week I was not stressed about my midterms. Sure, after I took them I might have been a little frustrated, but I didn't have anxiety before taking them and I haven't been obsessed with getting good grades on them. I have come to accept that life is not about getting good grades. Life is about learning and growing. If you get good grades in the process then kudos, but if not, don't stress because the important thing is that you have learned something.

There is so much more to life than worrying about what tomorrow will hold. Each day has enough trouble of its own, so why not leave the worry in the past and walk forward in faith, knowing God is going to take care of us. This is something I struggle with daily, but I am learning more every day about the life I want and the things I need to work on. This is just one of those areas in my life that needs constant attention and needs to be worked on. I don't want to let my fear or worry immobilize me to do all that I am called to do or to be all that I am called to be.

This Sunday was just another subtle reminder that God is in control of everything. I don't need to be in control... I need to give it to God and TRUST that he will come through.

A Silly Reminder

School has started, and this is the first blog of the semester. Kind of crazy how we can get so busy that we forget to take time to sit and think. A blog idea popped into my head at the most random time, but I figured it was worth sharing so here it goes!

We played the University of Arkansas a couple weeks ago, and what a great experience. Something silly happened during the game that really had no significance, but it got me thinking about life. Here's the story:

I have a friend that used to play at Arkansas, and she warned me about how slippery the dugout was when you are walking in your cleats. I was grateful for the advice. Needless to say, I was wearing my metal cleats and the dugout WAS really slick. I ended up falling down the stairs and landing in a VERY awkward position that could have potentially injured me. My teammates gathered around me to see if I was okay and help me up (they also laughed, which I was doing too). But basically, that scenario just reminded me a lot about life. Sometimes people in our lives, who have been in our place before and who know better, give us advice and warning about what we are going through. They do it for our benefit and for our good, because they have walked that path before. We have two choices: we can take what they say and do something about it or we can forget about it and choose to ignore their concerns. Either way, we have consequences. Either way, there will hopefully be people around us to pick us up and get us back on our feet again.

I know it was a silly example (and it's a funny memory for me), but the reminder of the situation is a great one. God places people in our lives for a reason. He gives people wisdom and insight so that they can help others. Sometimes people in our lives just have that wisdom because they have had past experiences. Usually, when people give advice about something (at least in my life) they do so because they have been there before and have some type of wisdom to impart. Sometimes the wisdom they have and the advice they give might not be what I want to hear. Sometimes it might be exactly what I want and need to hear. Either way, it is my choice to do with that advice/guidance what I want. That's the tricky part.

A lot of the time lately I find myself torn in various areas. Sometimes I feel I have no idea what is going on around me. Usually, I get really frustrated and confused and emotional. But it is in those moments that I remember 1. that I have a God who cares enough about me to walk with me, right beside me through those uncertainties and 2. that he has placed wonderful people in my life that will always be there to give me guidance, wisdom, and encouragement to keep going after all God has for me. It is in no way easy to do. I struggle every day with giving those uncertainties about life to God, but I am getting better at trusting in his plans. He is equipping me daily, not only to be able to take the advice I have been given and DO something with it, but also to give the wisdom I have gained to others. Sometimes that can be tough too. You never know how advice will be received. However, what I try to do in those situations (mostly because I am scared to death of confrontation and have horrible communication skills) is pray that God would give me the words to speak and the wisdom to impart. I pray that God will be strong in my weakness and give me the strength to be bold when I have to be.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

How true is that? But how often do we give to God all our weakness and allow him to use it for his glory? I know I could do A LOT better job of that. I have a long way to go and a lot to learn in this area, but the important thing is I am willing to learn. I'm working on being bolder and being that friend that I want in my life who is constantly encouraging me and keeping my head on straight. And in the meantime I am trusting that he will make "beautiful things" out of the dust and ashes in my life and in the lives of those around me.

My encouragement to you would be:

1. Don't be discouraged when you "fall". Allow those around to you pour into your life and "pick you up". Gladly accept their guidance and wisdom, and use it to become the person God has called you to be.

2. Be that person that can pour encouragement and love and guidance into another person's life. Don't be afraid to be bold. Go confidently and trust that God is going to use you in a great way, even if it is only to plant a seed in someone's life.

3. Give God your weakness and allow him to be strong in those weaknesses. Let him work through you and let him be your strength.

That's all for now. I hope you are encouraged and challenged by this. I know I am!

The Value of Life Itself

I am reading this REALLY good book that was suggested to me! I think that everyone should read it… It is “You Gotta Keep Dancin’” by Tim Hansel.

This book is really challenging me to choose joy in every circumstance of life… to realize the value in everyday life. One particular quote I read today pretty much sums up my view of life and how it should be lived. The paragraph is on page 80-81 and it says:

“I don’t know how much string is left on my ball of twine. There are no guarantees as to how long any of us will live, but I know full well that I would rather make my days count than merely count my days. I want to live each one of them as close to the core of life as possible, experiencing as much of God and my family and friends as I am capable. Since life is inevitably too short for all of us, I know full well that I want to enjoy it as much as I can, no matter what the circumstances are.”

That quote speaks volumes to me… especially in light of all that has happened within the past year. I have experienced a lot of loss and heartbreak. Tragic things have happened to those around me, and it resulted in my spirit being broken. It caused me to evaluate how I live my life on a day to day basis. And it definitely put in perspective how precious and valuable LIFE is… every day life: drinking coffee and watching news with my parents in the morning, having conversations with people at work, visiting beautiful places in California on days off, everything about every day life is special. There are opportunities every single day to see how special life is… if only we look for those subtle gifts.

It shouldn’t take a tragic event or the loss of a life for us to realize that this life is fragile. It shouldn’t take those events to make us see the value in living every day to the fullest. It is seriously sad that our society has placed so much emphasis on making our lives more glamorous, when in reality the moments that matter most happen within our normal, simply, every day activities. It saddens me that we have become a society that no longer likes the simple… we want everything to be so complex. When in reality we are drowning out the simplicity and beauty of life in general. Don’t drown out the simplicity and beauty of every day moments and opportunities… treasure those and cling to them. Live for them, live to see them every day… open your eyes and search for ways that you can live “as close to the core of life as possible”. When you find them, help others see what you see… help others know how important it is to treasure their life.

Hansel does a wonderful job of illustrating this concept with stories and quotes in his book. Several of the stories he shared made an impression on me, but one stood out more than the rest. I will share it with you, and hopefully it touches you as much as it did me!

“There were once two men, both seriously ill, in the same small room of a great hospital. Quite a small room, just large enough for the pair of them – two beds, two bedside lockers, a door opening to the hall, and one window looking out on the world.
“One of the men, as part of his treatment, was allowed to sit up in bed for an hour in the afternoon (something to do with draining the fluid from his lungs), and his bed was next to the window.
“But the other man had to spend all his time flat on his back- and both of them had to be kept quiet and still. Which was the reason they were in the small room by themselves, and they were grateful for peace and privacy – none of the bustle and clatter and prying eyes of the general ward for them. Of course, one of the disadvantages of their condition was that they weren’t allowed to do much: no reading, no radio, certainly no television – they just had to keep quiet and still, just the two of them.
“Well, they used to talk for hours and hours – about their wives, their children, their homes, their jobs, their hobbies, their childhood, what they did during the war, where they’d been on vacations – all that sort of thing. Every afternoon, when the man in bed next to the window was propped up for his hour, he would pass the time by describing what he could see outside. And the other man began to live for those hours.
“The window apparently overlooked a park, with a lake, where there were ducks and swans, children throwing them bread and sailing model boats, and young lovers walking hand in hand beneath the trees, and there were flowers and stretches of grass, games of softball, people taking their ease in the sunshine, and right at the back, behind the fringe of trees, a fine view of the city skyline.
“The man on his back would listen to all of this, enjoying every minute – how a child nearly fell into the lake, how beautiful the girls were in their summer dresses, then an exciting ball game, or a boy playing with his puppy. It got to the place that he could almost see what was happening outside.
“ Then one fine afternoon, when there was some sort of parade, the thought struck him: Why should the man next to the window have all the pleasure of seeing what was going on? Why shouldn’t he get the chance?
“He felt ashamed, and tried not to think like that, but the more he tried, the worse he wanted a change. He’d do anything.
“ In a few days, he had turned sour. He should be by the window. And he brooded, and couldn’t sleep, and grew even more seriously ill – which none of the doctors understood.
“One night as he stared at the ceiling, the other man suddenly woke up coughing and choking, the fluid congesting in his lungs, his hands groping for the button that would bring the night nurse running. But the man watched without moving.
“The coughing racked the darkness –on and on – choked off – then stopped – the sound of breathing stopped – and the man continued to stare at the ceiling.
“In the morning the day nurse came in with water for their baths and found the other man dead. They took away his body quietly, no fuss.
“As soon as it seemed decent, the man asked if he could be moved to the bed next to the window. And they moved him, tucked him in, and made him quite comfortable, and left him alone to be quiet and still.
“The minute they’d gone, he propped himself up on one elbow, painfully and laboriously, and looked out the window. It faced a blank wall.”

The man who died did nothing but try to make his friend’s life better. He knew the situation was hard for both of them, BUT he also saw his position as a position of influence. He viewed his circumstance (being by the window, [even if he really didn’t see all that]) as a way to bless his friend.

The point: be that kind of person! Be someone that “makes life come alive for those around them” as Hansel says. Know that life will bring its challenges… it will bring heartache, loss, grief. HOWEVER, in the midst of those circumstances we can choose joy. We can find true happiness in the simplicity of life itself because life in itself is a gift. And we never know when our time or the time of those around us will be over. We must learn to cherish the present and make the most of EVERY SINGLE DAY! Look for those subtle, yet very beautiful gifts that each day brings to see the value in life. That is my goal, and my prayer is that it will be your goal as well! Don’t let one day pass without looking for the hidden treasures that you are bound to see if you open your eyes! Let us not waste the precious time that we have been given, but instead embrace it and live life to the fullest.

Summer!

Wow... it's been a while since I've been on here. I know it's not a good excuse, but apparently I've been busy with school, softball, and getting settled at home for summer. Anyways... I am happy to be back blogging.

Summer has brought with it a mix of emotions for me. On the one hand, it has been such a blessing being home and being home for the WHOLE summer. I love getting the opportunity to spend time with my family and friends and knowing that I will get to spend 2 ½ more months with them! I have a job at home… Jamba Juice! I absolutely love it. The people I work with make my job so much fun, and I am truly blessed to have this opportunity to learn from them and get to know them this summer as I work with them. Working at Jamba has really stretched me. I have learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of. I have learned not to let fear get in the way of stepping outside your comfort zone. It’s good to be uncomfortable sometimes because there you can grow! And I am so very excited to see how much more I am going to learn this summer, not only about the people I work with but about myself as well! On the other hand, being at home has its disadvantages. I miss being at kamp so much. I would have LOVED to be there this summer as a counselor pouring into the kids’ lives. I have been following kamp life through the K-1 blog, and while it is so awesome to see how much fun everyone is having, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I was there. I love kamp. There truly is no place like it, and there are no words to describe how great of a place it is. I miss my kampers, the atmosphere of kamp, the constant growth taking place, and just being surrounded by wonderful people! Another downfall of being home is how much I miss all of my friends back at school. Being away from them really makes me realize how much I value my friendships with them. Skype works wonders though!

I guess the main thing about my situation (and possibly yours) is that you don’t always know why things happen the way they do or why you feel lead to make certain decisions. You don’t even know if you make the right decisions sometimes until it is too late. And even when you know you made the right decision, it isn’t always easy to live with. For me, making the decision to not work at kamp this summer tore my heart. I wanted SO badly to be there, but I also knew that I needed to be at home with my family because my grandparents aren’t doing the greatest. Honestly, every day that passes I find myself thinking about kamp and all the wonderful things going on there. I find myself wanting to be a part of it. But the reality is… I am where I am for a reason and I can’t let myself get too wrapped up in where I could be because then I will miss the every day opportunities to make the most of where I am now. That is HUGE! I do not at all regret my decision to stay at home. I get valuable time with my family. I have an amazing job and great people I work with! I could not ask for more blessings. I am growing and learning and loving life. I want to encourage any of you reading this if you are in that place of uncertainty. You may be wishing you were elsewhere or questioning what your purpose is or struggling with anything of that sort. Know that THERE IS a purpose for you where you are now. Look for those every day opportunities to get the most out of where you are now. Don’t allow yourself to get so wrapped up in where you could be that you neglect to realize the potential you have to make a difference right where you are at! Remind yourself daily that each day holds something of value… look for those “somethings” and embrace them! Learn from them, grow from them, and use them to better yourself! That’s what I am learning!

There are two major things I am in the process of learning this summer (and probably many, many more to write about later):
1. Even if I never would have imagined how things played out this summer, they happened for a reason. I am realizing each new day that it is not a coincidence that I chose to stay home this summer instead of working at kamp. Clearly, God wanted me to learn a few things about life and myself because he has been challenging me and growing me. I am so thankful for that!
2. I need to branch out, make new friends, put myself out there, enjoy every ounce of life. Sometimes it is easy for me to feel alone, like I have very few real friends at home. I feel like when I left California, a lot of the friendships I had from high school stopped there. My close friends and I have stayed in touch and remained close, but on the whole I have lost a lot of friendships from high school because I moved away. Then, I have SO many friends at college that I love so dearly. But when I come home… it is only to my handful of great friends. It’s just a transition, and sometimes hard to handle. I guess I just feel kind of out of the loop when I get home. BUT… I am learning to place myself in those situations where I am able to make new friends. I’m not the kind of person that really likes to go outside my comfort zone too much or take a lot of risks, but I am finding that the more you step outside your comfort zone and take risks the more opportunities you have to experience life! So I am trying to grasp on to that concept so that I can make the most of opportunities I have daily to meet new people, make new friends, do fun things, and experience life! I am excited about all that I am learning!

That’s all for now! I will post again soon! Hope you enjoyed… I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I know I did.

Last night my parents and I went out to eat with my grandparents. Then, we came home and watched a movie together at my house. It was a fun night, but grandpa didn't feel good. He said he wanted to go home so he headed out our back door like usual (grandpa doesn't walk well so we always take him through the back yard and garage because there are less steps). He was having even more trouble walking than usual. He got down the back steps fine, but he did not have very much strength left. His legs came out from under him and he ended up on his knees. So... he tried crawling to the garage, but he only got a little further because he was so weak. We all tried to help him up, but we couldn't lift him. Grandpa ended up just laying flat on his stomach because he was so tired and couldn't get up. That was so hard for me to watch. He is such a strong man who is brilliant and still has a great memory, but his body just doesn't want to move as well as it used to. We ended up calling 911, and they sent some fire fighters over. The firemen helped him up and into the car. They made it look so easy and put grandpa at ease.

When I got home from taking my grandparents home last night, I got to thinking about the whole situation. It got me thinking that sometimes my spiritual life can be likened to my grandpa, and God in some ways can be likened to the firemen. So many times I have fallen and felt that I reached my breaking point, that I couldn't go on any further. I reached the end of myself and fell flat on my face because I simply had no strength left. I needed help. Nobody could help me up from where I was except God. People could try to help, but the only real way I would be able to get up and move on was by God's strength. The firemen last night were there when grandpa was weak. They picked him up when he was down and were his support to lean on for help. They gave him peace in a scary situation, and only they could help him up. And last night I realized that God does all of that for me when I hit rock bottom. He constantly picks me up and renews my strength so I can go on. Without him, I would be stuck, lying face first on the ground with no way to get up. So thank you Lord for your never failing love. Thank you for picking me up and giving me strength when I am weak. Thank you for your peace in the most difficult and scary situations.

But mostly, thank you for the most precious gift you could have ever given: your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank you for bringing him into this world to be a perfect example of what it means to serve you and a perfect sacrifice for all my selfish sins. Thank you for that gift, Lord. None can compare to it!

If you read this, I would really appreciate prayers for my grandpa and grandma. Just pray for grandpa's health to get better and for grandma to have the strength to continue to take care of herself and grandpa! Thanks!