The three words that come to my mind when I think of this season of my life are dependence, faithfulness, provision. The dictionary defines those three words as follows:
Dependence (noun) 1. The state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like. 2. Reliance, confidence, trust.
Faithful (adj.) 1. Steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant.
Provision (noun) 1. The act of providing or supplying. 2. An arrangement or preparation made beforehand as to meet needs.
Just a few short months ago I had so many important decisions to make about my future, one of them being graduate school. At the time, I applied to three different grad schools in three different parts of the country. I literally had no idea what or where I would be after I graduated. A large part of me wanted to return home because I had been away at school for so long and missed my family and friends. I missed my city. I missed my own room. I just missed home. Another part of me wanted to stay in Missouri with the greatest friends a girl could ever wish for. Who wouldn’t want to live life alongside her best friends for a couple more years? Needless to say, I was torn. My heart and head were in shambles.
BUT…
I was confident of one thing: God knew where I needed to be, and He would go with me wherever that was (Joshua 1:9) That was pretty much the only thing keeping me sane when I still had no clue where I would be the month before I graduated.
Fast forward to now. I am blown away by my Father’s love, grace, faithfulness, and provision for me. When I first arrived home, I was really excited, yet really sad. I loved being home, but my heart was breaking because I had no idea when I would see my friends again. The first few weeks being home were rough, and I just did not feel like myself. While I was struggling with loneliness, God, being his faithful self, kept bringing people around me to remind me that I have the opportunity to build on friendships I have established at home and to create new ones. It was such an encouragement, and I am so thankful for those who came around me during the first few weeks and welcomed me home. God brought me to a state of complete and utter dependence on Him. He continued to show his provision and faithfulness when he provided me with a job opportunity a month after being home. I have been able to learn, grow, and save money for my future. Speaking of saving money for my future, I was able to get a grant for my first year of grad school that pays for my entire tuition. What a blessing! Like I said… so blown away by my Father’s faithfulness and provision.
I believe the biggest way God has provided for me and shown His faithfulness was by leading me to City Faith Church. I have never believed so much in the core beliefs of a church, felt so connected to the people within a church, or been so excited about the future of a church. The amount of growth that has occurred in my life in the past couple of months can be attributed in large part to the people that make up City Faith Church. They have continually challenged me to step out of my comfort zone and to love God and people on a different level. I am so grateful that I have the privilege of being surrounded by such company, and I look forward to every time we get to be together. I love my church! And I love that I get to be a part of God building it. It’s so fun to watch how He is providing not only for me, but for our church.
“My compassions never fail; they are new every morning. You can begin each day confidently, knowing that My vast reservoir of blessings is full – to the brim. This knowledge helps you wait for Me, entrusting your long-unanswered prayers into My care and keeping. I assure you that not one of your prayers has slipped past Me, unnoticed. I want you to drink deeply from My fountain of limitless Love and unfailing compassion. As you wait in My Presence, these divine nutrients are freely available. You may drink without cost from the spring of the water of Life. Although many of your prayers remain unanswered, you can trust in My great faithfulness. I keep all My promises in My perfect way and timing. Among other things, I have promised to give you Peace that displaces the trouble and fear in your heart. If you become weary of waiting for answers to your prayers, remember that I also wait: so that I may be gracious to you and have mercy on you. I wait until you are ready to receive the things I have lovingly prepared for you. Blessed are all those who wait for Me – expectantly, longingly, trustingly.” – Jesus Lives
I don’t know about you, but I am sure glad I serve a God whose timing is perfect. If you’re reading this and going through a time of waiting, where you are unsure of what your future holds, just know that God is with you now and He will be with you wherever you go. Continue to be dependent on Him and see how He provides for you and remains faithful. You WILL look back down the road and be able to see His provision and faithfulness every step of the way. Your life might not be clear or make sense to you right now, but it will when “you are ready to receive the things He has lovingly prepared for you”. Find hope in that!
